PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

Did you ever think you were meant for more?

Ever thought life would amount to this?

Ever wish that you could end this shit?



Wish just once that I could achieve.

Live up to the goals I set.

Yet I fail once more,

Fail you all.



Failed myself.



Stupid shit,

Nothing important,

Not to you anyway...

But to me.

It means everything.

I can't do this shit.



Sure you think he's fine.

Look at that smile.

Look how god damn happy he is.



Fuck it all,

Life like this,

Is not life at all.

Life like this,

Is hell.



The only thing that keeps me sane,

Keeps me happy,

Keeps me alive,

I can't even treat with respect.



Walk all over it,

Him.

Spit in the face,

Put salt on the wounds I inflict.

Laugh at the blood.

Yet cry for the body lying on the floor.



Pull me through,

Pull me here,

Tear me apart.

It's not that hard,

You know your parts.



Just fuck it right?

One trigger,

Brings the abyss.

Brings the dark.

The sleep.



The insomniac I see,

The reflection in the mirror,

That laughs back at me.



The dark,

The still,

The cold and shiny barrel.

The only pillow that ever works.



This is the embodiment of the hate,

The pain.

Rivers of my tears.

Washes away the blood of our wounds.



I'll kill whoever’s in my way.

I get everything.

I have everything I'll ever need

Yet I'm never happy with what I have.



So you can all jump the trigger,

Watch my finger.

The coldness will forever linger.



Watch the news,

Watch him at the edge of a bridge,

They try to talk him down,

Yet they only push me over the edge.



It's been said before,

I'll say it again,

Yet nothing will ever change.

Hating who I am,

Day to day,

Month to month,

Year to year.



Never happy,

Never satisfied.

Never able to dream.

Kills the only things close.

Because he can't kill himself.



Trying to change,

But can't keep those promises.

Can't keep the goals.

Can't keep shit.



So fuck those who think they know,

They have no fuckin' clue.



A teenager,

It’s the last damn year for this shit.

And I know,

In 12 months,

I'll be the same loser.



To scared to talk,

Cowering in the corner.

Listening to their laughter.

Telling me how I’m such a loner.



Well,

I wish I was.

Life is easier,

When you don't know anyone.

There's no one to miss.

No one to kiss.



Fuck love,

It's the only thing that keeps me around.

Keeps me sane.





When everything is falling down,

It’s the only place to stand...

But you have no idea,

When everything collapses around you,

How to get out.



How do I get out?

Out of this hell?

This life?



How do I?

How do I finally change?



You all think you're friends,

But your nothing more then spectators,

Missing the greatest show around.



Me.

The plain.

The tired.

The weak.

The fag.

The stupid kid.

Fat.

Useless.

Annoying.

What were you thinking?

Quiet.

Weird.

Ever think before you act?

Ever do anything right?

The kid.



You're missing the falling apart.

Being ripped limb by limb.



The agony,

The pain,

The beauty.

The me.

The real me.



The one who when you leave,

Sits alone in a dark quiet room,

Walks in the smooth night air,

Breathing deep.

Feeling the evening,

Fill the lungs.

The smell.

The taste.

The peace.



Tranquility,

How I wish to be free,

Free of the fight within.

Free of the reflection I hate.

Free of the weight.

Free of pain.



I am the goals that are never met,

The promises never kept,

The excuses never meant,

The lies never found,

The truths that batter us down.

I am me.

A man.

Yet child still the same.

Navigating the years in between.

Even if there is only one year left.

And I have no idea who I am.