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In darkness we find silence,

Yet silence is never dark...



Wish it made sense.

Wish I knew what I wanted.

What I was doing.

If it was ok to do.

If it’s wrong to go back to the first one.

As much as I hate it.

I love it.

If not so much the person,

The actions.



So confused.

A twisted mind,

Lost soul...

Adrift in the sands of life.



Unsure of the next move.

If it’s ok to just do it.

Or if it would kill everyone in the end.



Will I regret this tomorrow?

Or kill myself now?



Fade to the darkness,

The silence.

My cold body,

The gun still smoking in my hand.

Dreams of the end.

Sleeping one last night.

The last sleep we'll ever know...

Wonder what its like?





Wish it was simple.

Wish I could talk about it.



Wish...

I wish a lot.

Nothing comes true.



Funny...

Life’s always funny,

Though I stopped laughing long ago.



Life...

Is it worth living?

Or ending in a blaze of glory?



Nothing is what I want.

Me,

Him,

The future.

The past.

The pain.



Crying blood,

Crying for him.

Wonder if he knew.

Wonder if he cared...



So good at hiding how he feels.

Wish I had that strength...

Could make it a surprise to you all.



No one would laugh.

They would talk about me.

Scorn me for giving up.

My problems could never compare to others who lived.



Well who the fuck are you to judge me anyway?



I can do what I want,

If I choose to blow my mind over my walls,

Well that’s my final choice,

And you shouldn't have a say...



I haven't made that yet.

I've thought many times...

Held a gun in my hands.

But was too much of a coward to do that.



Too much of a coward to do anything.



The simple...

The plain.

Blends into the background.

Dark colors to hide in dark corners.



Dark thoughts,

Covered by the happy exterior.



Wish the torment would end.

Wish it was simple.

Wish...

There I go again...



Well...

What the hell...



One last wish...

I wish I was you...