Proceed with caution

serene rivers of silk and butter

I lick my lips

and proceed with caution

I cup my hands and drink the richness

It tastes of milk chocolate;

the water…

is leaking through the tiny crevices

between my fingers…

at once I glance upward

to the cracking twig's echo

somewhere in the distance…

a beast lurks

hungry for my meat

I stand frozen in my tracks

mediating whether or not

I should flee the area

then POW!

ricochets the bullets

then POW! again


deep deep deep

within my frightened body

stealing my breath and life away

less than a second

an inexplicable fear

pulsates throughout me

as I dream the deaths of my unattained prey…

and instantly wake up to the rapid beating of my heart

badump badump badump

my body trembling all over

my mind alarmed and ready…

I put away my rifles that day…

and never went hunting again…

©2001 All rights reserved.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Some people may read this poem and immediately think its about hunting and killing a deer... well it is, but that's beside the point.
It's basically experiencing a tragedy through the victim's perspective.

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Jim Cox's picture

I read most of your poetry here, and I can't tell you how much I enjoyed your use of "concrete" language, and the startling imagery that evolves from it in all of your pieces. ("concrete," means words that appeal to our physical senses-taste, touch, hear, etc.) Its very refreshing! Please don't take these comments as just the generic type of "back-patting" that goes on in most of the clubs online, as it takes Poetry that exhibets craftsmanship, and dedication, to get my attention. I hope you will also visit my Poetry site listed above, and the new one I just finished. There is a link to it on the first page of the "listed" site. After perusing your material, I think you might enjoy mine. Our style is kind of similar in some ways. (I think. lol?) Guest books are on the bottom of the first pages of both sites, and all comments. and critiques are welcome! God bless you, Jim.