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words, words, words, words..

thats all that is going through my mind..

words...

lots and lots of words...

love,

lust,

hurt,

disrespect,

respect,

friendship,

relationship,

i don't know...

its so hard to think..

with words...

just like swiming around like that...

its soo confusing...

lots of words in my head...

holding her hand...

that hasnt even been held that much...

my lips havent even touched hers yet...

i get scared...

my hands go cold...

because i feel like a kid again..

like i dont even know what im doing...

nothing makes sense...

i don't know how to act...

the want to just lay my lips upon hers...

and i freeze...

i don't freeze...

that only ever happened...

when it was my frist time...

wit my frist ex...

i froze...

i didnt know what to do...

it really scares me...

this hasnt happened in a long time...

why am i so scared?