if you want to say goodbye

Folder: 
closet boxes 2006

You think that ive fucked up your life

because I told the truth

youd think you would know better

youve known me all our youth.



And im placed as the bad guy

because you do not see

i did this not to hurt you

and I did this not for me.



Because you say I fucked it up

once when I told a lie

that I only told to help you

so that you could really try.



With someone that I cared for

so you wouldnt feel bad

and you caught on and it destroyed

the friendship that we had.



And now weve tried it all anew

and its happened once again

only you told me to lie this time

although its to a friend.



And I almost lied and said nothing

I almost let it go

but then I thought if it were reversed

youd really want to know.



So I went up and told the truth

and yeah, it made him mad

but would you feel the way you do

if youd heard conversations that weve had.



Where he told me you annoyed him

and that you came along with me

and that he really didnt like you

the way you wanted it to be.



Or that you do nothing but just complain

when your lifes not all that tough

or how he said he wasnt interested

and that hed had enough.



That he thought that you were stupid

to let your husband go

theres so much thats been said to me

i dont want you to know.



Not because I want to hurt you

i just dont want to see you cry

and because you seemed so happy

when you looked into his eyes.



And I told him to tell you the truth

and not to lead you on

so your fucked up if you still think

im completely in the wrong.



So dont say I fucked up your life

I didnt have to try

i learned my lesson long ago

for you I will not lie.



Ive hurt for you

id kill for you

you know that much is true

but if you want to say goodbye

theres nothing I can do.


Author's Notes/Comments: 

anyone regreting anything lol

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running_with_rabbits's picture

I wnat to makwe it work to nikki
but how when i don't trust a word you say rot hing you do
and I know that anything that goes on between us is told to others

and You'd be amazed at what I know that you just said in that poem, you think I don't talk with him, you think he doesn't tell me,

and I would really like to know what the two of you think I want from this

coz its clear to me that I'm on a page of my own

ash


Much Love

Ashley