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Who I Am
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My Poems I am one-of-a-kind
I have a unique mind,
I can be fierce
yet I will shed tears,
When I am sad
or when I am mad
you better be glad
I don't find you, and do bad,
I will be the shoulder for you to lean on
when all your hopes and dreams are gone,
This is who I am
I will be there for you, like Uncle Sam,
Just call my name when you need me
and I will come as quick as the eye can see,
This is who I am.
Awesome and honest
Awesome and honest
thanks
thanks, i am actually a beginner in writing poems so good and bad critizism will be very helpful, to make them better.
Black Beauty
well you're doing a great
well you're doing a great job. keep it up
Hi Nik-Nik!Wanna put this
Hi Nik-Nik!
Wanna put this out there, this is just my opinion on the poem, from my limited perspective on poetry, okay?
I think the beginning is good... best part of the poem, you might find a thing or two to change, but overall its a keeper :)
"I am one-of-a-kind
I have a unique mind,
I can be fierce
yet I will shed tears..."
The number of syllables in each line varies in such a way (6-6-4-5) that I read it in a fast-pace sort of way, almost like it was part of a rap. If you could maintain that sort of rhythm throughout the poem, that would be really engaging. Good job on this. :)
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Perhaps a little too much rhyming here:
"When I am sad
or when I am mad
you better be glad
I don't find you, and do bad..."
***
The referencee to Uncle Sam wasn't my favorite, and maybe use a different phrase than "quick as the eye can see," it sounds a bit cliche.
***
Oh, and I think the "This is who I am" serves well as an ending. Strong emphasis and makes sense of what the reader just read.
Cheers,
Adam_San