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Obviously my fault
Obviously my fault.
All of this. I can only blame myself.
Difficult to do anything now to change what's happened here.
Gotta try to remain somewhat positive...but that can be difficult, too.
I'm just sorry that this had to happen.
I sort of understand...but not completely.
Never completely.
I never understand anything completely.
But I know these things sometimes happen.
And it is...my fault.
I just wish I knew what to do.
What can I really do?
Sometimes I'm misunderstood, but I should have learned, by now, to be more responsible when it comes to these sort of things.
Sometimes I say things wrong...express myself wrong in my words.
These are my mistakes.
I messed it all up.
I ruined everything.
Sometimes we can only hope for a chance to start again.
I just hope there is still a chance here.
But the writing's on the wall now...and it don't look too good.
I'd said a few things with somebody else in mind because they'd made me feel upset.
But it had nothing to do with the ones I cared about.
I should have known better.
It's all my fault...and I take all the blame.
I get emotional sometimes about certain things that happen.
It usually comes and goes, though.
I let it out for the sake of making things seem better.
I try to keep difficult emotions from going around in circles so that I can focus on the positive ones.
The positive emotions are the ones that truly matter.
I had just wanted to feel close to someone who was close to God.
And if I cannot have that...then I guess that I don't really have much of anything at all.
I had never wanted to make anyone upset to the point of doubting me...especially when it came to someone who may have believed in me in a certain way, or who cared to guide me.
It was only the words relating to my true self that I had longed to share with them.
Other things that I may have said that were based on different, or negative emotions were never the words I had expressed to whom I believed in.
My truest words were my words pertaining to the love within my heart, but any relating to anger were for the sake of personal closure.
So I may have said some things with somebody else in mind that made it come across as though I was saying them directly to someone who I care about.
But it wasn't that at all.
But, again, it's my fault here for not being more careful...more clear.
So now that I've caused for everything to fall apart, I suppose there's not a whole lot I can do to change or to better the situation that's now at hand.
I guess there's not much I can do to bring things back to the way they were.
And it is quite a shame, because I had never intended for this to happen.
I'm just trying to express these things to you in the best ways that I can.
But the main thing I'm trying to say to you is that I'm really sorry.
I came across wrong and I sincerely take all the blame for this.
And now all that I can ask of you is that you will please consider forgiving me for my mistakes.
I had never wanted to hurt you, or to cause for you to feel upset.
I say these things to you from my heart.
My very heart.
Please try to see me in the ways I hope for you to see me for the sake of the heart.
This is the only way that I truly believe that we can get past this.
For if it should become a matter of the heart...then I truly believe that there is still hope here...a chance to start again.
If you can't find it within your heart to forgive me...please pray for me.
I pray that you will come to forgive me.
This is the prayer that I will pray tonight.
