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Life Is it wrong that it feels so good,
that i feel no pain, not a thing,
the cold, shiny, metalic blade,
pressed strongly, with force,
upon my skin,
why cant i stop, why cant i win,
at something that seems,
like it will never end,
going on for years,
as it already has,
and still not even a tear,
praying one day, or even now,
possibly tomorrow, God will take me away,
sorrow, is all i have left,
hope, it is what i lack,
pain, the pleasure of it all,
love, the greatest for all,
hate, it never seems to end,
little by little, i am falling apart,
regressing to a black hole,
being taken in,
mind, body, and soul,
one day, one day, i can live free,
without the pain, without the hate,
finding hope, that has found me,
knowing that love is there,
all i ask, and i hope it is not to much,
that someone will care,
and not forget about me.
Mike,
Please stop and think about what that blade is really doing to you. I know that once you start it is hard to stop. Almost like an addiction!! Actually it is!!
I recently found my 13 year old daughter doing the same. She is dealing with alot of painful issues and feels unloved and unwanted by her dad. Oh my God, I'd die myself if I lost her!! And if that is what you are needing(someone to care and let you know just how special you are) please afford me the opportunity to be that to you.Also know that GOD is there for you. If it helps I can give you a name of someone to talk with that is helping my daughter?
Take care and we love you!
Susan