I opened the door. I was very tiered, i felt tiered in way someone is about to die, and say something that is going to comfort someone who is worrying much for me somewhere in a dark corner, in the middle of their hopeless absence.I have a headace, I am sleepy, I have insomnia, I have to take a bath, I have to sleep, I need air, I have insomnia.
I feel like a predator in my room, and these grey patchy stubborn mentally content walls, strangely standing over my shoulders, I am standing, I sit, I stand.
I am thinking, I have been thinking for awhile.
About so many things unless if they werent important, why would they come to my mind while I was watching a little line of ants on the greasy wall, I am tiered.
The clocks are surfing over a dark apocalypse of time, the boats mend sunk in tthe abys of thoughts,I re-create my past I still last with nothing but an lost war, a burning ceremony just winked out the ground, the sky just collapsed near my frightened eyes, Just now!
I am tiered, I am exhausted.
There is not a sentence in greek that would satisfy my soul, not a phrase in french that would make me forget, not a riddle in Kashmiri that would tell me to move on, not a alphabet in english that would console. Languages are the key, but right now I am trapped in the language of my own labyrinth, perhaps I am going mad, perhaps right now I need to talk to myself about myself, perhaps its time to shut your ears and listen to my inner wreck communicating something very loud from the rooftops of my spirit.
I walk in squares, circle on the wet carpet, my ceiling has a leakage, and its winter. My ceiling just looks like an old sky,a wooden dream.
I have a cold glass of water from yesterday, an ant has drowned and died, perhaps when I was thinking, perhaps I could have saved, probably not. I had to feel tiered , she had to die, someone had to get married, someone had to go to jail, someone had to be hanged, someone had to get ill, someone had to do all.
I probably need to open the windows,
I stood up and I opened the windows.
Tired
This poem demonstrates exhaustion physical and mental, lethargy and innui. The abyss is deep. May you rise and receive fresh air from the open window. Or maybe it's just hot, too hot to move - energy expended, I sigh - Just Bein' Stella
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