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Revisiting America's Handjob
Back, and she couldn't think of mountains anymore. She couldn't look at the reflection of her eyes in the mirror without thinking of his, so similar. She was going to have to leave her home again. "Don't think about that." 5 months and some days ago, she never imagined she'd feel so unbelievably detached from her town of birth, with all the faces numbly concealing one-track "me" minds. Welcome to my city. Just a bunch of mundane characters, extras, with walk-on parts in a shit show. She imagined the heaping mountain of filth she'd be likely to produce by scraping a spoon across any given sidewalk in this diluted, polluted town where everyone's face was so blank. Mountain? "Don't think about that." She wondered if she would ever feel home again.
Interesting...And, after
Interesting...And, after reading the comments, even more so.
Enjoyed the read.
Sorry for the feelings captured within.
yeah, I wonder just how long
yeah, I wonder just how long you can not think about it too. Megan, I know you hate me now. But im telling you as someone who truly cares about you, maybe the only person who truly knows you. Don't lose your son to that fucking town, please.
just because i don't answer
just because i don't answer your phone calls does not mean i hate you. i just HATE having the same conversation over and over, so pointless. how about you don't worry about my son now, because you weren't concerned about him EVER before, and he has nothing to do with you at all. and how about you concentrate on getting your life together and FORGETTING mine, because what we had f----ed me up, a little bit. and i'm probably never going to be okay from it. does that help you? you left your mark. great writing, though. far better than mine.
ps: i don't know what you think you truly know about me. i don't think you know me. after you freaked out and put me in an awful enough position to drive you across the country with the last money i had only to get dumped and told to "get over it"....it wasn't until after i finally DID get over it...that you cared about knowing me. good luck with me not telling you to fuck off, after that. good luck.
No that doesnt help me Megan,
No that doesnt help me Megan, NOTHING fucking helps me. Since the day you decided to tell me to fuck off, I have not been ok. Every thought, every instance, everywhere I fucking look IS YOU. Everything you fucking wrote to me about coming back to Gardiner in spring, so we could start anew, everything you wrote about rescuing me, just fucking lies. After almost 2 years together, you just decide to say FUCK YOU in a split second, thats it, your back is turned. So I apologize for every awful situation, for telling you things that made sense at the time. And now they dont, now im left here with your fucking ghost infesting my every movement. And you're happy with that. What the fuck happened to you? I never couldve imagined youd be that type of person to just completely block me out. What we had was real, and now ill never know anything true again. So great, were both FUCKED UP for the rest of our lives.
yeah, i never lied to you
yeah, i never lied to you though. what i said i meant, at the time. but the more i sat on the memories of our completely fucked relationship, the more i realized i don't want that again.
think about this, dillon...
what if i'd have stayed in michigan with you instead of coming back to the G? think about what that would have been like, realistically, and then tell me you still think we're meant for each other.
what we had was real, and i want to take good away from the time i shared with you, not awful horrible memories. i'd like to remain friends, but its difficult right now because every time i talk to you you're freaking out. and then i freak out. and nothing has changed.
sorry, you know i never wanted to give up, but after awhile it just happened naturally. sorry i've changed.