Growing up I had always been Catholic (I am not a right-wing christian fanatic, btw). I went to CCD (Confraternity of Christian Doctrine - aka Religious Education on the Catholic believes) growing up. Sometimes I would get tired of going every single Sunday to mass (since it what one is suppose to do). When I got to college, I started seeing my religion different and got tired of going every single Sunday to mass and I stopped going, but I still went while on vacation to keep my parents happy. Yes, I still believed in my religion, but I wasn't 'happy' for some of the teachings and I believe one can do them when they please if they wanted to (such as premarital sex), but I still wasn't happy with my religion though. After graduating and my old priests were still at my church, I was talking to one of them about the religion and told me to believe what I want to believe... it may be right or it may be wrong, but you decide.
In the space of 10 or so years, I still questioned my believes as being a Catholic. I know that by heart I am Catholic, but my mind isn't. About three years ago when my church started to celebrate their 250th Jubilee Anniversary (old Catholic Community in New Jersey)... I decided to participate and help in the committee... maybe with doing this, it will help me be closer to God. (FYI: I only go to masses on Holidays, yes, I am one of those)...
So, during the time of events, I enjoyed being part of my church community and it made me come closer to God then what I had been in for many years... I was actually happy to be where I was. I try my best to be part of the word of God even if I am not a "good" Catholic or Religious person, but like I said, I try to be the best. During the time of these events, we went to several places, some being special Catholic Churches in Philadelphia that brought me closer (FYI: I love a good Catholic Church and its decorations that make that church its true value... been to many several in Mexico and Brazil). I went to basically ALL the events we were having too (missed two I think)
Now that the events are over... I feel that I am drifting from the word of God again, but I always try somehow to get closer to him. While the events of my church, I am the admin to our FB Page and I would put pictures of the events... so just recently, I decided to put on it a daily prayer... I believe by doing this, it will help me be a little closer not only to my religion, but closer to God as well. I know it is not the same, but for me it is a great start. And I may still just be the kind that will still be going to mass on holidays only...
During the time of the events, my Father had hip surgery (on both, but not the same time)... the first time I actually went to the hospital chapel to pray a little because I know praying has always been a strong factor for me, I know it is not much, but in my heart I believe it is the right thing to do even if for many they don't believe in so.
To this day, I know that in my heart I will always be Catholic, but my mind still questions it no matter what. But in order to move forward, I first I need to 'fix' my life and be on the right path before I move forward with my religion. It will not be easy, but I think I will be alright with my believes and my church...
On a different side note...
I cannot compare my religion to other religions since I have never been to any other services of other religions, but only that from what I read in books and online. I understand some of the other Christianity religions, their purpose and their believes... but then there are others that I don't understand or their purpose. And I believe that those religions are missing out the true meaning of Christianity... (all the hundreds that are 'popping' out from who knows where). However, those that I believe are doing it right, I respect them for their religion and I don't question it as long as everyone knows what their purpose in life and the future is in beliveing in God.
Beliefs Are Sacred
Makes life's downs easier to rise from. I can't tell you how often prayer has brought me out of troubles or grief. Faith once attained is the goal met, living it is the challenge. Keep faith! You will be vc if torious! God helps us. That was s the whole point - stronger we go out and try to make the world better. U R never alone. :D