Laughter inside my own head, mocking me.

Everything is rolling downhill. Day by day I find myself more lost. My identity has been a fading shadow as the bright lights of modern society surround me, making it impossible to understand who I am anymore. Even though the lights are so bright, pitch-black engulfs my vision. Everything is crippling and I am at the forefront. It’s easier this way. I have stumbled in the woods, without a compass. This area seems to be uncharted. I’m alone and the night has lasted months; I seem to be losing my humanity. By the end of the night Ill embrace such a thing as I sever connections with everything I had once held dear. There’s no sign of life for miles and with every little step I hear the breaking sound of what used to be life as leaves disintegrate beneath my feet. I came here to get lost but I am constantly searching for a way out. I am quickly getting too tired to continue on. I feel like I am going to die here, it makes me wonder if thats not why I am here in the first place. Is it not my own cruel fate that has put me so far away from reality, so I can leave this dimming world behind, so I can finally go out thinking death is more perfect than life. Ignorance is bliss, but it will surely be the death of me. While I have hope that the sun comes up soon, I’m afraid I won’t know who I am anymore when I look at my reflection in the murky water of my past. I ask on to you, I scream out to anyone close enough to hear me, except my apologies, I wasn’t meant for this place anyways, but Ill I hear is the echoing of a ghostly voice, laughing. As I try to figure out where the laughter hails from it seems to have no direction at all.

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saiom's picture

You have a very rare

You have a very rare conjunction of neptune, uranus and saturn
in capricorn... though your sun is in aries. That conjunction...
like a trinity of planets.. comes together in capricorn only once
every several hundred years. You have a powerful
destiny imho. God help you realize it more every day.



 

 

MisterMisery's picture

Much thanks to previous comments.

All your comments actually made my night in a way. I'm glad yall stopped by with some supportive comments, this is the first thing I have written in years and am trying to get back into it. Thanks guys.

raminastar's picture

WoW

My god that was good.. I just wrote a piece of crap in comparison.. that echo's those feelings in a small speck of a way. Wow.. I would love to hear your thoughts.. get in your head and just listen to you think.. I would pick a line to point out but I loved every line.. every line said what I feel.. what I think.. I don't belong.. darkness surrounds.. You are an amazing writer.. I look forward to reading more of your work. I know that others have already told you not to give up.. So I wont continue the chain. You have a great support system here..vent.. let the world hear you.. bless us with the beauty of your mind.. and let us bless you with friendship... Hugs my friend..

~M

Invisibird's picture

LISTEN TO ME!!!

Hey, I know how horrible things can seem, trust me I've been there and sometimes it feels like I'm still there. You have a talent for writing, and it would be horrible to see something as wonderful as you just disappear. Don't tire out yet, and keep writing, it's a gift. <3


-Lala