Watching the smoke- waterfall off my lips
Makes me think of the emptiness-leaving me...
But... how could that be?
If emptiness leaves you
Do you become full?
Does it make you feel better?
Or do you feel blinded by the wool?
Do you do this for yourself?
Or to make you seem cool?
Do you do it to fit in?
At work or at school?
Do you love the way it makes you feel?
Does it make you feel like you are special?
Like a good person?
Or like you are befriending the devil?
This poem feels like a mirror
This poem feels like a mirror held up to a habit people rarely interrogate. The “waterfall of smoke” is such a striking image, and the way you follow it with questions—real, uncomfortable questions—gives the piece its power. It reads like someone trying to understand whether the escape is worth the emptiness it leaves behind. The contrast between wanting to feel full and wondering if you’re just “befriending the devil” makes the poem land with a quiet heaviness. It’s reflective, honest, and unafraid to challenge the illusions we wrap around our coping mechanisms.
I really enjoyed your question about emptiness leaving you...
and if so do you become full. That was quite an original thought. Follow that slant in your writing and I think you will surprise even yourself in your writing. You're onto something here Miss Jenna. Sincerely, Melissa Lundeen.
Me too
I'm trying to silence that same devil. He's very strong. The key is to be stronger. We'll see.