My Sweet Imagination

Outside of your apartment window

the leaves have fallen and it grows colder

still and I can't feel my fingers.

Inside you look so warm. A good candle is burning

steady and I imagine that cookies are in the oven.

I'd beg you once again to let me in, but I know

you've turned me away enough times

that I can be sure your heart doesn't secretly want


As the numbness creeps up my arms

and into the corners of my vision,

as my pulse slows and your face

glows in the light of your phone

in a delightful conversation you must be having,

I lift myself from my knees

and in the indentations left on the ground,

I leave behind the part of me

that wanted you

more than I wanted

 to live.  

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