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Banquet
I can't get away from how I feel
It follows me everyhere
The same decisions made over again
Mistakes I never learn from, nor can repair.
I see the same cycles propelling my life
In circles unbroken
By any amount of strife.
The same desires I follow and fail
To attain what I love
As my spirit grows pale.
I know what I want,
And would do anything for it,
Though there's danger in so blind a pursuit.
All I see is my goal,
Not what is happening as a whole,
And to life's lost dreams
I give death's cold reality a salute.
I've tried that once before,
And all it brought was pain
To know there was yet another end,
However easy, I still could not gain.
Now I toast to life, in hopes of reward,
A glass half-full, in good faith be implored,
But to me it is lacking, and will always be so,
The grail that is golden holds less,
while the wooden chalice holds more,
One can melt and one can burn,
It seems that the lesson of transience
In fire I shall best learn.
Fires of passion, fires untamed,
Fires that leave all its victims badly maimed.
As if I didn't learn time ago
The lesson of impending suffering,
A consequence I surely now should now,
I submit myself once again to pain
I gladly will endure,
Because of my unfailing faith
That answers to a fading future's allure.
