Looking up at the sky



Looking at the sky i see a moon lighting up the ground beneath feeling the warmth at my feet

my mind wounder when i look up at the sky i think that there is hope and justice and freedom in my reach

my thought wounder and i think free when no one is there looking up at the sky with me

looking up at the sky i know that there is others out there that do the same

we are not alone and we all have feeling s and certain ways that we feel

but when i am looking up at the sky i feel so relaxed and stress free no worries or angry thoughts

just the sky and me

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lizzurdbeth's picture

i like the last line best... "just the sky and me" it wraps up the whole thing really nicely and adds a nice touch of warmth into it presenting the reader with just how you feel looking into the sky... very nice job i really enjoyed it :)

lizzurdbeth's picture

As you said, it is very good at bringing the reader into the place in your mind, but isn't that what i do in some of my poems? like "haha... i win" it is completely full of details and i hadn't been to the coast for months :) but i think in most of my poems i am not necessarily trying to bring the reader in, but to let them be reminded of things that may have nothing to do with my words. You truly are a good poet and thank you for your comments. it means so much to me :) I enjoy having conversations with people about writing and most people just leave a meagre comment of good job or great writing. you truly mean what you say and i appreciate that. feel free to comment on my work in the future, it is like a breath of fresh air.