Author Information
Whiff of serenity?
Seems when I'm sad, others are in pure joy, and when I'm happy others are sad, and mad that I am happy. I can't help but relate everyone to myself, that who I am is the result of everyones state of being. Must I sacrifice my happiness for the sake of others, or shall I be happy so everyone can be unhappy.
I keep reading material pertaining to the truth of life, and though there are moments where I'll read something insightful, I'm still not getting any real answer. People tell me I have to experience life to know the truth of life. But where do they suppose the experience is collected?
It is collected by themselves, everything they perceive is collected within themselves, it all begins with yourself. So how, may I ask. Is the events that happen outside of myself (the beginning, the perceiver) going to reveal any kind of truth that shows me how the hell I have come to exist, who I am, what's really important; it all begins with you.
We're all seeing the world differently, so how can an event show the absolute truth if we perceive that very event totally differently. It angers me that I am the only one who is stuck in all this questioning. It makes me feel as if my quest is worthless, whereas everything I read subtly suggests that it is not.
I have been told I personalize too much. I must agree to an extent, I tend to take everything to relating to me. In such a statement it would appear that I have constructed my own world and everything that happens around it affects it, and everything I have been reading over the past several months suggests that such a world is an illusion and really there is just consciousness. The way we perceive the world, the way we take in various events pass through our personal filters of beliefs, sense of moral, trained to resent; the original event is entering our eyes and is now going through a voyage of our conditioned mind until it finally reaches our heart as just a fragment of what originally happened. It's been so filtered down that we are not seeing the totality. This is the way I interpret it. The books I have read suggests that when your filter is removed than you reach a state of oneness, the filter can be seen as an image of yourself, collected memories and beliefs that have molded your sense of self, and once this has been vanquished than there is only oneness there is only THIS, in this state everything is new, in this state there is not an experiencer there is only experience.
The trick is, removing the filter. For it is not a material thing that you can grasp with your hand, or get rid of with intense mind control, in fact, the less control the better. For it seems the more open and non-resistant one is, the more the perfume of what these books point to is whiffed.
I have become totally absorbed in the message the books convey, that I haven't totally wanted to get to the point where I actually start living the message and finding the truth for MYSELF, instead I have accumulated all that they claim it to be and have taken their word, that's always been a disadvantage/advantage of mine, Call it gullibility or overly trusting. Luckily I stumbled upon this message and I trusted it because I have never been more sure of such importance in my life, everything is miniscule when compared. The trick really is finding the courage to sacrifice all of your conclusion, all of your beliefs, even your knowledge to only be a hindrance and an enabler of suffering, to throw all of it away all of your life it seems, for a promise of serenity.
Vaporizing our filters so I may join the flow of the universe, We have to ask the deep questions. Why am I here? Who Am I? Why do I suffer? These questions have become my mantra, they break down my fortified mind in which contains much suffering, the questions act as if a sledgehammer slamming into a thick iron ball in attempts to weaken it and have a little light go inside, so from the inside the light will expand and eventually cause the thick Iron ball to implode, so there is only light, and the sense of self, all the protection of an illusion is dissolved in utter and absolute truth.
I have the script, but a script is nothing without one to read and perform it.
Deep Insight
Everyone goes through the disolution and setting aside of the "filter" - It is a stage step up to belief and faith. The more you read and intuit, the greater the challenge to venture into "worlds" that surround you without fear. Naked is the only way to absorbe truth, to experience "other" to let it seep into your pores. The trip is called living, the outcome is life. Done with doubt hinders, done with love and acceptance is painful but most efficacious and efficient. Courage is walking into a new space with odd people talking - try conferences, try public speakers, try documentaries, biographies (to get the life lessons). Read: Shakespear and Chaucer, Che, Nikki, Lenin (Vladmir Ilich Lenon), read Don L. Lee "Enemies", "Think Black", "We Walk the Way of the New World", Read Sam Delaney - Babel 17 an entire book of sci-fantasy written entirely in poetry. Read Leroi Jones "Preface To A 20 Pound Suicide Note" and then memorize it - then read interpretatins of the sanskrit, the Mahabarta, the Koran, the Bible - all of the above cover to cover and then the veil will melt away and self-actualization can begin - the more you know the more you are - love, Allets