Stockhold Syndrome and a Straight Jacket

Folder: 
2012

I closed the door on my self
wasn't worth it, I'm tired
No- I looked at my file
and I stamped it case closed
I'm retired
No- I stamped it dead
I am dead in my head
and I will go to bed-
this time
Take my medicine nicely
smile precisely
Because I am done
I'm society's ills
Good girl- took those pills
I am over
I'm maimed
I'm restrained
Straight jackets again
Enslaved not admired
but such pretty chains
This monster entangled
deformed- yes and mangled
it is me-
and I signed off my lifeline
to some man who wants
my time my body my crime
under his own dime
I closed the door on myself
and they opened a new one
with chain, bolts and screws on
fiberglass glued on
No- I opened that file
found what was there vile
I opened this case once again
No- no I am not tired
I will not go to bed
I'm not dead in my head
Spat my medicine nicely
in your face precisely
Because I'm not done
I'm society's ills
so I won't take my pills
I'm the general malaise
that hangs over our days
I'm not over
not maimed
no longer restrained
I'm no longer retired
In fact- I'm just freshly hired
so best step down and concede
You're done
File closed

Author's Notes/Comments: 

2012, been working on this since my experience being in a mental hospital wherein I was greatly mistreated. Not sure it sounds like I want it to. Don't want it to come off as cheesy Emilie Autumn lyrics or something. The gist of the poem is that while I was mistreated I eventually got out and am studying to become a psychiatrist and make some major changes to the mental health system as we see it today. (It's horrible). Anyway... not really satisfied with this poem yet.

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