I shaved my head
and I became
A motiff of power
and strength
Walk a length
a stretch of hall
Strut Strider
Ride on rider
You've got strength you know
The numbers don't lie
in the schools you've been taught
It's impossible to die
in the battles you've fought
All of your short comings and strifes
Have been guilty of taking up too much of your lives
You bullshiter, Don't bullshit to me
I'll shave my head and once again
I'll find myself and lose my friend
I'll become something greater at most
I'll be cocky and more than able to boast
That I have this shaven head so that you can always see
And it'll always be on my mind until the end of me
atta boy!
This is an interesting perspective. The voice is unique and revealing, and powerful. It's really tough to critique poetry on the internet; it's far easier doing in person.