"special"

Folder: 
acceptance

You robbed me of it, don't you know?

You took it all away.

For I was just a child

when

you plundered me that day.



A secret kept, an untold, untold,

a part played for the crowd.

How could they know,

my family?

I hid below a cloud.



This is a " special" kind of love,

the kind that mothers dread.

All these years, still kept alive.

Guilt(?) swims about my head.



I wonder if you think about

the ugliness you've made.

When you make love to your wife

does that same cloud form over you head?



When you kiss your son goodnight

and keep up the facade,

do memories creep in your head

as you are caught off guard?



I know you have a problem now.

You try to block it out.

But when the hangover kicks in,

I bet them voices shout.



You really do not know me now

although you kid yourself.

YOU really should NOW set it free

don't leave it on the shelf.



Control is such a bitter thing,

it tears you up inside.

You don't still have it over me

and I no longer hide.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

Written in first person, its supposed to be the eventual acceptance and recovery of a person from sexual abuse.

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William Edge's picture

This poem doe's what it sets out to do ,however as you know in reality ,there is no forgetting ,no turning back and no forgivness-Love William xx

The Alleycat's picture

Where is this guy..I shall scratch hs forehead.Babydoll you do not have much to worry aboutI seen your pictureAll the Young Men out there will gather like sheep.
I am The Alleycat~>
http://usa.ultimatetopsites.com/entertainment/delbert1/

LaRae Lohstroh's picture

Being molested myself, and knowing many many people who have been, as well, this poem really touched me. It's good to know that you can get over the cloud that hangs over your head after something like that happens to you. Well articulated, Andrea.

poetvg's picture

tight poem

madamegiggles's picture

Thanks for the kind words

Thanks for the kind words Todd

I have only just registered with that site and have posted a few poems already. I recognised your username although I haven't spent much time as yet perusing the poetry on there. I look forward to reading some of yours and again many thanks for taking time out to crit my poem, I know it was a tough one and people have shyed away from it.

Andrea

Todd Martin's picture

Andrea, that's a very nice write.. thanks for sharing.. Control is a horrible thing that's for sure... It can't exist... Life is so out of control...I don't know how we could ever expect to get control over it...OddlyEnuf
I see you're in the UK...Have you ever checked out Poetices.com http://excoboard.com/exco/index.php?boardid=1070 The administrator is Steve he is also from the UK...I am a moderator there...

clarinetpsycho's picture

This is a powerful poem. I really like it. It paints a beautiful picture, even though it is of pain. Good write.