Urges

Feeling like running,

Feeling the craving,

Wanting the rush,

Missing the high.

Why won't the urge to use go away.

It hits me when I'm at my lowest, when I'm weak.

Will I make it this time and fight it off,

Will I fall like I always have before.

Dreaming of it,

Thinking of it always,

Knowing the longing won't go away until I go through my binge.

Then I'll be free again, until it hits again.

Is my life ment to repeat this cycle over and over until the end?

Author's Notes/Comments: 

This is the fight I battle at least once a year, since I've tried to clean up. I've never been able to resist, eventually I break. The last time I almost ruined my whole life and lost my family. I'm so afraid I won't be strong enough this time to make it through.

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