Ever have those days when you are sad, so all your friends are trying to cheer you up, because they genuinely love you.
And you just want to scream.
"Can't you see I am NOT a good person! Can't you see I have broken hearts, promises, and goals. I am not nice, I call my friends mean names, and talk behind their backs. Some days I forget that it isn't their fault that I am angry, and yet I take it out on them when they are being nothing short of amazing. I drag people along on my crazy adventures that get us all in trouble. I can't do anything right, and I just hate everything. And I dump all my problems on you. And here I am still whining. Why would you ever say I am amazing and caring and kind. When I am like this, how long have I been lying to you all? Why would you believe me, I am a liar."
But you stay silent. Because you want the comfort, want to feel like you deserve it. Want to feel like you EARNED it. So you stay silent,
It's not because we know we
It's not because we know we have done wrong that we are ready to change. Yet we want to become better, but it just seems too difficult when we are in pain.
You're not in a denial, you accept what you are. Knowing you have done wrong is a first step.
You earn this.
Red (who is not really different than what you wrote)
Life likes order... But it was born out of chaos.
Thank you, and you are right,
Thank you, and you are right, it seems like too long a process sometimes, though.
And I guess there are more people than I thought, that feel this way sometimes. ^////^
Thank you for reading and commenting!
Love,
LovingLovelace
If your mirror doesn't find you one of the most beautiful people it has ever seen, punch it and find a better mirror.