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Revenge Is Fake Sugar If Love Is Sweeter
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Matthew understands. Love was all I wanted. I was, am, selfish. I want for at least one person to love me forever, to stay by my side. I know that I am undeserving of such love, but I want it. I want it so bad that it physically pains me at times. I feel so alone, like a captured animal. Srrounded by people who don't understand me, yet wanting approval. Or maybe that sounds more like a puppy taken from a bad home.
To be honest in a way that I am not usually, it is my fault. Who could love me? Love who I have become? I would describe what I mean if I knew myself well enough to be able to tell you something about me other than my name. Nothing but a name.
I wasn't always this way. Once upon a time I had hopes and dreams for a future, for a lover, for a happy ending. But things like that never come true, as I so harshly learned.
And out of all the lessons I learned and remember, the one most ingrained is that no one gives a fuck, also that love isn't for people like me, no one loves people like me, and it will always be that way.
But love was, is, all I want. I am so selfish. I wish and dream that at least one person will love me forever, staying by my side.
Harsh reality, in all it's power, can't make me give my dream away.
Because this dream, this hope is the only thing that lets me know I am not the cruel bastard with a frozen heart that everyone believes.
I am nothing but a man who forced himself to the top of the chain and does what he needs to stay there.
Not even a man, a boy.
All I want is love.
All I get is revenge.
i am a boy/man/male/or any
i am a boy/man/male/or any other synonym you can think of, and i used to feel some of the things you said. i used to feel like i was an untouchable, like everyone hated me. i am starting to realize, rather late than never, that i was making myself into what i feared. i have always laughed at the idea that you must love yourself before you can love another, i used to think it cliche and a bunch of b.s. but there is a lot of truth to it. who ever this is about should reach out to people more, they should embrace the fact that everyone has a soul mate and the only way your going to find them is if they look. grat write i really enjoyed this!!
I know exactly how that
I know exactly how that feels, and I guess it came across quite strongly. But this is for a friend of mine said that no one understood what it was like, how he felt everyday, how he couldn't trust anything. So I wrote him this. Because.... A very long explination. But thank-you and I tried to tell him the same thing!
Love,
LovingLovelace
If your mirror doesn't find you one of the most beautiful people it has ever seen, punch it and find a better mirror.