I don’t know who or what I am.
Am I the mean thought that I sent out,
Or the nice words that I said?
Am I the nice words I said?
Am I the fist that hit his face,
Or the smile and icepack we shared after?
Am I the people I hurt,
Or the people I saved?
Am I every heart I have broken,
Or am I the hearts I fixed?
Am I every bad grade,
Or every understood lesson?
Am I the lies I have told,
Or am I the truth I yielded?
Am I every tear I shed.
Or the smiles I give?
Am I every vain attempt,
Or my achievement?
Am I every drop of disappointment in my mother’s eyes,
Or those proud moments?
Am I every stupid angsty poem,
Or the ones that are beyond my years?
Am I all my bad advice,
Or all the times it just helped?
Am I every argument I have had,
Or every time I gave in without a fight?
Am I who I say I am,
Or will I never know?
Knowing.
The thing about knowing........is you have to search, an figure things out, in order to know. Take my past experiences for example, like my "slut days", I was trying to figur out if I was 100% lesbian or not. I know now, what I did not know then. It's all an experiment. Life is one giant experiment. What do experiments have? They have controls (constants....like Me!), variables, results, failed trials, successful trials.......It just a big experiment.
.
.
I find it funny that the girl who used to like science but doesn't anymore, is using science to explain something....
Love,
~Desert~Dreamer~
K.J.A.
(your kybabes)
~~We can fade away together one dream at a time.~~