Who is this person
This person i see
He seems to be a complete stranger to me
But how can he be
When this person i see is ME !!!!!!!!!!!
What does this person means to me
How can i see such a stranger before me
When this person i see is me
When will he become suited to me
To become and act like me
How long will it take for him to be me
When will he take this form of me
How long will it take for me to be suited to him
Can it take as long as i think it could take
When can we both be each but together
Can it be as hard as it seems
Who is this person
This person i see
He seems to be a complete stanger to me
But how can he be
When this person i see is ME !!!!!!!!!!!
How hard can it be for us to become one but both together
Would it be easier for us to be two
Or would it be easier for us to be one
Can we live together with each other like this
If we can't what will we do and who will we be
well i would have to say that your song has a disturbingly strong resemblance to something i have heard before... any chance you wrote this after watching Mulan??? whoooo is this girl i seeee staring straight back at meee when will my reflection show who i am insiiiiide... or maybe youre just soul mates.
your poem is okay. except im not sure what you're talking about a lot of the time. work on grammar and sentence structure. IM me...VampyreGoddramon. peace out man.
your poems need better topics. try writing about something that is really important to you. and i agree with the person above me, you need more spicing up. try to use adjectives and not repeating phrases.
Omgooses punctuation man! -beats over head with english text book- Anyways -wipes dust from arms- second stanza, line 6, "mean" not "means" and line 7 "to me" doesn't make sense, maybe "before me?" Again, pretty dry, not many descritptive words or imagery. Repetative, definately needing some spicing up. Especially for a song, it should include lyrics that bring up interesting, or "catchy" ideas or notions. At least, those are usually the best songs.