Mother said he loved us so,
Then why'd he decide to leave and go?
Taking his life and our hearts too,
Was that really something he had to do?
Suicide got a hold on him
As his light of hope began to dim
We share a day
a day of birth
now i remember your last words
the day before you died
"I love you kiddo, always with you."
What the hell..why didn't I figure it out?
I should have known..you were in pain
I should have known, I have nothing to gain.
I lost my entire love
the life i once had
everybody says you died of natural causes
the papers, the lawyers and the family
i know differently..i know you and the bond we shared
you gave into the pressure and took your own life.
i know this for a fact. i know you like a book.
you left me without you, to suffer the same battles.
you left me without you, so now i will end with you.
let me come too
i know you're the one who stopped me before
let me come with you..i need you uncle danny.
i need you more than anything.
i lose all the loved ones i've ever had
you, poppop, mommmom, pops, and all your sisters.
is our family cursed? am i destined to die horribly?
you ended your life. i'll never give into the fact that they say it was natural. it wasn't.
you and i know this.
i love you..and miss you more than anything.
Wow, Mandee, this is so heart-rending,& so tragic...i can hear the pain in your words, the tears still held back, the temptation to go along with the denial, to try to lessen that pain, but you had the courage to search out & face the truth, & that is something that will help you, often, through life...& writing it out, just like this, just the way it pours out, is an amazing thing to do, & to share, & can have a profound effect on those who are priveledged to share these glimpes into your thoughts & heart...I hope you know now that joining him isn't the answer! But facing the truth, no matter how painful, leads to the answer...
your poems have touched me deeply tonight...I wish i didn't have to go to bed, I want to keep reading...i will return...
~Anastazia~