Author Information
Just Amanda
it hurts to breath anymore. its hard to force myself to wake each and every morning. im thinking to myself .. why do i hang around when theres no reason to. do i do it for the pain. deep down inside so i long to feel the pain i get each and every day? why do i fight with myself. im always asking myself questions to which i never know the answers. do i have to be so hard on myself? why do i hate who i see when i look into the mirror why do i feel sick to my stomache every time i see myself. something good comes along and something bad has to happen. its the never ending story of a girl lost in a world she doesnt want to be in. sometimes i wish i didnt exist. my existance is painful. i lock away the pain and torture i feel. why dont i admit to how i feel inside. why am i so afraid to let people know that im weak. i wish i was strong. i wish i could take all the pain in the world. i cant. i break each and every night. as i sleep i cry. i hate to cry. crying is a sign of weakness. i dont like being weak. get the fuck up amanda you cant be weak. be strong. be positive. live your life as someone else. wear that mask you carry so well. theyre getting too close to the real you push them away. make them stay away. stop your getting too close. i long for an embrace but i wish for people to stay away. i long for company but i want to be alone. stay away. you'll hurt me. my heart is stone. it cannot love nor can it feel. my veins are dry my blood is running short. sooner or later its all going to end. i'll hold on. only to know that im not giving you what you want. i know you hate me. guess what i hate me too. i dont blame you. theres nothing to like here. no one likes a sad person. no one likes the reject girl. i don't even like the reject girl.
