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a cry for help
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dark am i condemned? my heart is broke,
i'm running out of fuel.
i'm trapped and snared, i lost my way.
i fell into the pool.
i call your name, i scream and pray,
oh God i'm such a fool
to have your love, and turn my back
to let desire rule
it's not the same! it's not the same! i threw it all away!
repentance only goes so far if actions never change!
my heart, my selfish ego trip refuses to sustain!
how long must i continue to reuse your name in vain?
and now i'm just afraid that all my fear can't be contained!
and death and paranoia all in one will call my name!
hell is nothing more than seperation from Your grace!
oh Lord just take it all away! i cannot handle guilt and shame...
This is reminds me a lot of a
This is reminds me a lot of a time in my life in which I was really afraid of not being saved because of my sinning. And, I prayed to God for a sign that I would be in heaven with him. A few days later, I had this dream with all different people, and everybody was super happy. God was laughing and smiling, and he was huge, sitting on a great white throne. I was cognizant of it being a special day. In fact, there was going to be a judgement, and we were just waiting before it started. And, I had so much peace and love. I knew I was with the Lord for eternity. Before that dream, I had never heard of the Great White Throne Judgment. I think God gave me that dream to answer my prayers, and to give me a sense of calm because the worry of a lack of salvation was disheartening me. I usually don't like to share this, because it is so personal. But, I thought you may take comfort in the fact that you're not alone. I worried about my salvation as I'm sure other Christians do too. But, Jesus loves you, and He knows you're wretched and sinful. That is why He suffered and died, so you can spend eternity with Him. So, live in Him everyday, and... "cast your burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain you."
thank you for the
thank you for the encouragement. i've been struggling in my faith for the past month or so, feeling like i don't love God enough, while i'm doing a lot for my church and giving to the community i'm just not feeling the spirit like i did when i first found God. maybe it's part of maturing in faith, it just doesn't feel right.
Guilt and Shame
Excellent prayer this - allets -