I am more than this war has made of me,
The things for the better,
And for the worse, and the down right ugly.
I am more than another soldier in a uniform,
More than what is left of me.
I am more than PTSD.
I am more than the nightmares that haunt me,
More than the memories that consumes me.
I am more than the solider in these boots, that most people would not have the strength to wear.
More than the flash backs that remind me on a daily basis I never left there.
I am more than the person that never feels like I measure up.
I am more than the person who questions themselves on a daily basis if I did enough.
I am more than one of the ones that made it back,
I am more than the soldier who feels guilty for the ones who never made it out of Afghanistan, Iran or Iraq.
I am more than the man who drinks to much, because it's the only way to shut out the pain,
I am more than the crazy thoughts that want nothing more than to drive me insane.
I am more than letters and numbers on a medal dog tag I wear everyday,
I am more than the PTSD that pushes my loved ones away.
I am more than my dreams that died long ago,
I am so much more than even I will ever know.
I am more than the person I am now, compared to who I used to be,
I am more than the PTSD that is tearing apart my family.
I am more than everything PTSD has stolen from me,
Because some were deep down inside I am still me.
I am more than a veteran of a foreign war, who did a tour over seas,
I am more than an American solider who fought for his country,
And now lives with the hell of PTSD.
© Wanda Faith Danielle Eitzmann