I love you.
that alone explains way too many things. people make mistakes..and ive made the amount of 100 i know. but i also know even sorry cant repair. not even tears. one of the biggest ones were ever doubting, using, and lying once to you. i wish i could just relieve myself of the sins ive done against you. but its not gunna happen...i wish you could fully trust me again and im trying...day by day...125% to fix it. because of the fighting...just like you, i cant take it anymore. everytime ive seen you cry, i just cant help it. because you're such an amazing person to be around...and to me and i wish you didnt give up making me feel good about myself...because with out you...i feel horrible, i cant even make myself feel better..i took that for granted..that was another one of my mistakes that i wish i could take back...but i cant. and im so sorry. i love you so much that you transformed, changed me into a different person that i am today...i am you..you are me..we are one...we've grown so much together, and i hope we stay together forever, because without you there is no sun in the sky, no fish in the sea, no leaves on the trees, and no heart in love. i feel so much comfort when your around me. its unlike something ive ever felt before in my entire life. and ill always love you...forever...ive changed so much..you have no idea, i used to be this stuck up kinda girl..that never spoke what she felt because she was afraid of what people might think..now i can do almost anything i want with you infront of people..and tell you how i feel, with nothing holding me back..because i know that what ever happens..you`ll always love me. and thats another thing i love about you, no matter what, you always love me. you cant believe how much we've done for each other..atleast i cant believe it. really, you are/were/and always will be my only true love. this is so true, i can feel it. ever since last summer, ive felt it so strong, and its only gotten stronger. you are truly the one for me, we are sole mates,...and i know that, thats how its always gunna be for life. my 1st name and your last...clash so well together, i could really picture us having a future. and if anything..i repeat anything ever happened to you...my heart would just stop pounding..it would just be totally destroyed..really, without you there is no me..its like we're 1 person. you made me change from a girl to a young lady, you`ve tought me so much about life. its not just me that changed you..its definatly both ways. you are seriously my everything..and before...when i did that stuff..i never realized that. it just totally slipped my mind about your feelings, i was so self centered...and i already kicked myself in the butt for that..i mean it. thank you, you've affected my life, and myself so much this year and a couple months, hun..i love you, forever...
to somebody that is very special in my life...you know who you are...ily :)
#2..11/20/04
wow, its been almost 2 years now...but ive come to realize that we fight more...i know hun, its tough, really it goes 2 ways, but what really hurts me was the fact that you had thoughts in ur head about me finding someone else, and im not saying that i didnt...that also hurts too. but i promise you, you are the only one for me, i know that. words can't explain how much love i have for you, honestly...and i am so sorry that ive been "that way" to you (u know what i mean), it hurt myself when i came to realize what you were talking about, i basically started crying..i could'nt believe it...when u told me last night, and then thinking about it shortly afterwards, hun..i am so sorry, i love you so much that it hurt so much actually admiting it, but besides that, i had tons of fun last night... purple? or blue?...which ones the good one? lol yeah yeah...our memories explain our relationship...big time, thats one of the reasons why i love you so much...the amount of stuff we've been through together is phenominal. the dances, movies, each other's houses, parties, school activities and ...such :) its been such an awesome 2 years, and you've shown me what type of person i am and what i could be...the good and the bad, its apart of love, and having someone you care about so much and they care about you back. i could never take anyone above you, when i say "oh that guys cute" in a magazine or "derek jeter is so hott" its just my honest opinion, but it means NOTHING towards how much i love you. its just the same as saying u think some swim suit chick in sports illustrated is hott...hey, you think it, w/e u say, lol but back on the main topic...really though, the fighting has been tough on both of us but each time it teaches us a valuable lesson, some more obvious than others. derek michael taylor i love you more than life itself...honest. you are like my other half...the better half...hah...anyways, without you, i dont know where i would be, what my personality would be like, cuz you've really brought that out in me...the good, and the bad traits. but i just want to say that no matter what happens, derek michael taylor, you will always be in my heart forever.
....i love you so much hun.