Pity

You wounded me, cut me, pierced me all the way to my very core.

The healing has already begun but still I’m fragile, tender, sore.

I know recovery, repair, rebuilding is something I simply must do.

What I don’t know – what I cannot yet see – is exactly how to get over you

 

My defenses were lowered, weapons discarded, I let my walls come down

Allowed myself to trust, believe, that a smile could replace this frown

I let you in way too far, much too deep, too fast, too soon

Now once again I sit alone, discarded here in my room

 

I crave an anger – a heat, a fire, something the pain can fuel;

I want a confrontation, a fight, a final battle, perhaps one last duel.

I need a way to bring you hurt more profound than you brought to me;

A torment, torture, unending, searing pain that will never set you free.

 

Except the desire to hurt you is something that exists outside of my grasp.

That righteous indignation I have is a fleeting feeling I seem to quickly pass.

I cannot hold onto the raw, seething hatred my mind tries to desire

Since at the end of the day what I truly seek is a plain, simple ceasefire.

 

I’m tired of the upheaval and scars our relationship left in my life.

I’ve grown weary of the fragmented dreams I have of becoming your little wife.

There’s no room in my spirit any longer for the chaos you seem to bring.

What’s needed is a new beginning – a fresh start, along the lines of spring.

 

I’m ready to plant the seeds of a new hope deep within my heart;

It’s time to find someone who can give me the freshness of a new start.

Now is the season of clean slates, renewal, rejoicing, maybe even joy

when I open myself to someone who values me for me, not as a toy.

 

My worth, my value, the price that’s been set of my heart and of my soul

are far greater than you could comprehend from the safety of your little hole.

You couldn’t grasp what I brought to you because of your own fear.

So alone you will remain yet again; by yourself year after year after year.

 

Go ahead and surround yourself with a bevy or stable of loose women;

For you failed to realize when you held in your palm a truly priceless gem.

You’ll have affairs, a tryst or two, relationships that come and go;

But forever more there is going to be an emptiness, a pit, a hollow.

 

You’ve lost the purest kind of love God ever could grace you with;

A love so profound many scholars have deemed it merely a tale – a myth.

But you had it and squandered it away because you couldn’t believe it true.

So instead of anger all I have left is a deep seeded pity for you.

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