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Future?
Not talking to you is just killing me.
I’m missing everything that I know we could be.
I know I needed to put my foot down,
But I’m finding it hard to stand my ground.
The sound of your voice is music to my ears.
The words you whisper I’m longing to hear.
Without you around there’s a void in my day.
I didn’t mean for you to go – I wanted you to stay.
How do I reconcile the difference between
what you we could be versus what you DO mean
to me in my daily life, in my heart in my mind?
How can I live with being left behind?
I want to have you as part of my life.
I want to be yours – maybe be your wife.
I want you to be mine to have and to hold.
I want to laugh with you, I want to grow old.
Yet again I find myself having feelings for a man
who can’t commit to me…who it seems can’t stand
to bear the warm embrace, the security of a home
offered by a woman who’d rather not be alone.
I don’t need a man to take care of me.
I want a partner – I want to become “we”.
I’m looking for laughter, I’m looking for fun.
I’m desperately seeking that special “someone”.
Never have I asked for lush, lavish gifts.
Not once have I suggested sudden commitments.
What I’m seeking is something that won’t cost you a dime.
All I ask is a small piece of your precious time.
The demands on your life are numerous, it’s true,
and never have I wanted to be a burden to you.
Yet I feel right now I have to make a choice –
Do I continue in pain or do now I use my voice?
Is it time to speak up for that which I feel?
Is now the time to figure out what is real?
Am I willing to run the risk of letting you go?
Can I make this tough choice? I really don’t know.
Maybe you’re ready for me to just leave.
Perhaps this isn’t my story to weave.
Perchance my departure is just what you need.
Conceivably I’m an irritant…a bother…a weed.
It’s hard to believe what I feel isn’t true.
It’s difficult thinking of being without you.
But I can’t force the issue – I can’t make you mine.
So either I walk away or simply toe the line.
The choice is really a simple one I see,
and either option will bring some pain to me:
I can have you around in a superficial way,
or I can simply depart – you won’t ask me to stay.
Either way that I go won’t bring me joy.
I don’t see a smile...I’m not being coy.
I’ve laid out exactly what you mean to me,
but whether there’s a future here, I just cannot see.
