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Goodbye
How do I learn to say goodbye?
Learn to let you go? Learn not to cry?
Is it possible to smile without you in my life?
Can there be joy when I won’t be your wife?
I found my other half, my missing piece, my soul mate.
But sadly it took too long, we missed our chance, we’re too damn late.
I loved before – or thought I did – just to be thrown away.
You gave your heart only to find yourself used at the end of the day.
I poured out faith and was subjected to abuse in return.
You lowered defenses in complete trust but found it hadn’t been earned.
I lost myself, my spirit was crushed, I didn’t know how to begin.
You felt alone, completely abandoned, built a wall to avoid hurt again.
Then I found you, you found me, a new bond began to form.
We both were cautious – overly so – fearing the link would be torn.
My heart began to open again. A seed began to bud.
The flower grew, started to bloom the fragrant blossom of love.
You felt a pull, were drawn to me, found your spirits weren’t so low.
But not enough to move you from the defensive stance you know.
I’ve tried to be patient, kind to a fault, waiting for you to see
that the kind of love you’ve waited for was waiting for you with me.
You ignited the spark I’d thought long gone, an ember began to glow.
The flames need just the smallest encouragement to flare, leap and grow.
But the tender care that ember needs, you don’t seem to want to give
and I’m not sure if this limbo is a state in which I can live.
I love you deeply, with all my heart, and welcome that love’s embrace.
But you can’t get out of your own way to even look upon my face.
For if you did, I know for once exactly what you’d see—
that for the first time in so many years, someone brought joy to me.
My dedication is unquestioned, my motives couldn’t be more pure.
But you seem to be ready to walk away and that wounds me to my core.
I know inside I deserve devotion and love to come my way.
The voice of doubt inside my head is telling me no matter how I pray
I may not get those things from you, regardless of how I feel.
That thought makes my soul grow dark. I cannot believe that’s real.
Not just because of what it means for me, but because of what it means for you.
I don’t understand how you can walk away from one whose love is true.
Can someone help me to comprehend the thoughts inside your head?
Is it that you’ve been tormented so much that your ability to feel is dead?
How can you not want someone who would put you first in her heart?
Why would you choose to stand all alone? Why would you stand apart
from someone who wants nothing but to care for you, to be here forevermore?
And all you’re asked for in return is to lay down your weapons of war.
I don’t have the answers, that much is clear, and no one can give them to me.
And as much as it is going to break my heart, I soon will let you go free.
Not because my love has changed, diminished, faded, or is gone.
But because I cannot stay like this – my soul is not that strong.
There’s only so much uncertainty that I can continue to take.
There’s a limit to how much time I can give while you leave me here to wait.
So I’m trying to find the way to let you go from my life.
I’m searching for the method that will cause the least amount of strife.
I want to have no argument, no fights, no tears, no pain.
Yet I know my efforts to let you go will be somewhat in vain.
For even if today is the last day I see your face or hear your voice,
A part of my heart will forever be yours. In that I have no choice.
