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Leave Me Be
Leave me Be
I said,
But you smiled and
I let you in,
I loved all of you,
with all of me.
Your smile was so sweet
Feeling as though I was complete
Laughter and dancing,
Our first kiss in the rain.
Content and passionate
Even when we were apart.
Looking into my eyes, you said
"I love you,
With all of my heart".
We never caused each other pain.
You loved me for me,
Your arms were strong and eyes so warm.
Sweeping me off my feet,
With your sweet charm.
I sang to you songs of love
Outside we slept underneath the stars above
We traveled and we dreamed,
I truly thought we were meant to be.
Then you changed into a monster,
A man I had never met before,
No longer someone I knew,
And your anger grew.
I lost the one I love,
I watched him fade away,
I waited for you to return,
But it was all too late.
My love couldn't save you,
You disappeared that day
All I could do was pray.
You said I didn't love you,
You said that if I cared,
I would do what you wanted,
But that was something I couldn't bear.
And even when I pleased you,
It was never good enough,
Your hateful words got stronger
And my heart began to rust.
I listened and loved you,
I did what you asked,
It wasn't what you wanted,
And so the relief didn't last.
I wasn't causing you the pain
But I wish I was the one to blame,
To save you from the darkness,
That brought in the storm,
I feared you all the time
My words were always muted
Consistently unheard
Tears falling silently on the floor
You were not like this before
Every night I laid there
Hoping for a change,
I had to let you go
I had no choice,
I still tried to love you though.
So here I am,
Lost and confused,
Battered and bruised,
My soul is gone,
I don't want to move on,
I trust no one,
And you've walked on,
It's so dark in here,
The end of us is near,
You are the one to blame
I hope you drown in your shame.
You promised me the world,
Your love forever,
Through sickness and in health,
Through the good and bad,
A risk for love,
Is always worth it you said
While you broke those vows,
We began to grow apart
But You continued to say you loved me,
"With all of your heart"
Was it all a lie?
I stood by your side.
I kept my promises,
The entire time.
Anger and fear bubbles inside,
deep down within.
I feel as though I cannot breathe
I wish back then
I had the courage to get up and leave,
Maybe now I wouldn't grieve.
One day I may be open again,
For now I am not.
Id rather let my soul begin to rot.
Closed to love and vulnerability.
No one can hurt me here you see,
Here I am safe.
Now leave me be.
Don't Let the Soul Rot
Nothing is worth that, you gonna need that later. No one is eligible for my soul in any articulation. Ranting cliches okay, but with courage and conviction and a safe soul at least - Just Bein' Allets