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Stagnant Hours

sometimes when I just can’t
chase sleep any longer
across the empty echoes of night
there between dusk and dawn
when the hours are stagnant
I find myself in that moment where
midnight hides behind moonshadows
and a blood-ring clings ominously
to the eerie glow of
an early October’s full moon

letting those same old adulterated fears
begin to move slowly up my spine
congealing my steps between
yesterday and today
as caliginous clouds move erratic
across desert foot hills
sending shivers throughout
the already uneasy beat of my heart

silently I dust the darkness
with the tremble of my hope
as I search night skies
for any sign of glistening refuge
from the apprehension I now feel
but no stars shimmer bright
on nights like this one here tonight

so I settle in and brace myself
for whatever else
the hours that remain may bring
I try to guide my thoughts
to a better place
chasing moments from long ago
but the undeniable truth of today
pulls me back in again and again

as the first ray of light
breaks radiantly above the mountain
I realize my face stings
with tears still falling
and I try to defend
each tear that already fell
but in the wake of day
there just is no justification
for all of the trepidations invoked
in the name of life not lived

©LadyRaine