PostPoems Be Artistic. Be Creative. Be Inspired!

I have spent so much rime in my life defending myself from my exes, playing damage control. You know at almost 40 I have a come to the conclusion. Stacy Ann Darnell aka Teague Lemuelle Chesed and Marla Dawn Park can kiss me ASS. Oh my cow so I went through a lesbian time would someone please explain to me why these butches (wannabes) choose to keep putting me down after its been years. I forgot I was a walking ATM. Some might say what money. Well... for Stacy it was the monies from my father's estate. Marla it was never paying my mother back neither her nor her daughter. 700 bucks and she is still trying to have mom put into a nursing home. I bought both of them so many things. Maybe I was raised differently however I was taught that the male takes care of the female. Just like butch takes care of lemme. No, not me with these two I worked 2 jobs and when I wasn't working and got my disability retirement then I was informed that I didn't deserve it. Let me get this straight my adult life serving my country during which I was raped, put down and sodomized only to have people who hadn't gun through it tell me it did int happen. WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE????? I tried to take the nice polite young lady christian high ground by apologizing and accepting their apologies. Only to get more put downs and game playing. I even went into the hospital earlier this year due to a mental breakdown and Stacy was there that I telling people that I abused her. Hold up I went away from the relationship nearly 20k in debt due to her getting credit cards in my name. “allegedly”, however she bragged about it. When we were together she would brag about stealing things from stores and that she could get away with it because she was bipolar and to quote her prairie view and her gays friends would get her out of trouble. I cant even get Prairieview to help me with my bills because “I would be taking advantage.” WTF??? Do you live my life? Are you in my head? Do you see the things I see the noises I hear the voices that make decisions with me everyday. I understand that right now I am coming across as a shameless blaming shrew however I was with stacy in 2003 and Marla in 2008. its nearly 2011 and it's like since neither can control me anymore then i'm a horrible person. Their sides of the story is me lying to them keeping them from things and such, while in the meantime no one asks about the bruises that were on my person the stalking and controlling behavior of stacy nor how Marla wouldn't let me go anywhere without her because she was best able to control me if I was there. This is why I stopped seeing women and went back to men and to quote Christopher Titus “ I have found my one true love. I got my Starbucks order. “ Bob doesn't make me feel like i'm horrible for being voluptuous, dark skinned, younger than he and not financially blessed the way he is. He just loves me for me. I've only had that in a few people in relationships treat me that way... Sam, Trent, Christopher, and now Bob. I thank you all for allowing me to be REAL to myself, life, family and not trying to change me. Okay so here it is my rant and then quick shout out of happiness. Thanks for reading.