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I need to tell you the truth

but the truth may kill you

I wish that this could be like

before where

I just left without saying

a word

leaving you

breathless

speechless

without a clue

       but

it's not that easy

I still love you

care for you

more than I let on

more than you will ever know

        but

I have to be honest

it's not working between you and me

you feel it too

in your efforts to make sure that

I'm okay

I'm happy

nothing works

my insanity overwhelmes me

my depression takes over my body and soul

body

and

soul

and I can't let go of it

until I let go of you

        but

I'm scared

I'm scared of what you may say

I'm scared of what you may do

I'm scared of you

to be with you

to be without you

but I need to

orelse I will take this misery that

I have  adopted as my own

keep it with me forever and ever

until it devours me

until it kills me

I wont let it kill me

I can't

       let

          it

            kill

                me

but

it's hard to fight it

it's hard to tell you the truth

about you and me

about the way things really are in my mind

because it may kill you

and

I don't want to kill you

           but

I don't want you to kill me

either

I wont let you kill me

either

so I wont waste time

I wont leave you like before

breathless

speechless

clueless

        but

I will leave you ...