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Him and Her
With intentions unclear, she lied from the start.
She lured his heart near, then tore it apart.
Laughing and crying, being confused as one.
Alone he's trying, while his hope is undone.
She cannot face him, the shame is too great.
His eyes glow dim, he denies his fate.
He just can't give in, determined to get through.
She just stays within, her walls she always knew.
The girl he does trust, betrayed him with lies.
The boy she won't trust, still hopelessly tries.
He knows it's not smart, but continues to care.
She just guards her heart, but she knows it's not fair.
His tricks he does play, just to fool his own heart.
Her tricks she does say, have been said from the start.
The words she does speak, falling on his ears.
With lies they do reek, but truth he still hears.
The words he does write, being coldly ignored.
Though they pass her site, they are never explored.
She just swallows her pill, hoping for self-control.
He shall continue still, being a foolish soul.
If you read my work, you'll
If you read my work, you'll see I'm not much for rhyming. But this is just a perfect poem... Beautifully written. Thanks for sharing... Thoroughly enjoyed reading it!
By the way, thanks for the add!! I just knew I wanted to read your other works after commenting on one of them... Didn't want to lose your profile haha.
Hope you enjoyed your weekend!
"A poem is never finished, only abandoned" - Paul Valery
Great Poem!
Great Poem!
I really liked this
I really liked this poem.
Nice read.
Magnificent!
This is a marvelous, powerful, and well structured poem. May I offer one criticism? In the first line of the second stanza, the verbal phrase "did trust" is weak because it sounds archaic. Using "did" with a present tense verb was, in the 19th and early 20th centuries, a mark of inability to manage the line properly, and became a sign of poetic inability . . . and this poem is certainly proof that no poetic inability exists in this work. If you substituted "trusted" for "did trust" you would have the same number of syllables, and the line would flow more smoothly.
Forgive me for being so bold as to suggest this, but my admiration of the poem is such that I am, perhaps, too forward in my enthusiasm.
J-Called
Thank you, very much. I thank
Thank you, very much. I thank you for reading as well as commenting with feedback. I appreciate the criticism just as much as the exaggerated praise. You are absolutely correct and "did trust" should be replaced. I am thrilled that you have read my work with enough interest to catch that. Thank you :)
Love it!
A girl and a boy's perspective.. This is really nice. :)
Diana
Really liked this :)
Really liked this :)