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My name is Rumpa Bagchi. Since Mr Rampal Guptoo, is my spouse naturally I am Mrs Rumpa Guptoo and my domicile is Dashpushland, situated far away from my native country Varshvarsh.





Ah! I can see your eyes wide open and you doubt the name of the countries.



Please check the map and you are sure to find it nested in Europe and Asia. Cannot see? Magnifying glass should help.





Every year my spouse and I visit Varshvarsh but this year it is the second time because of a marriage in the family. The groom Sanjit is no other than the son of my brother-in-law Sandip.

An adorable bride Juhi, Sandip's good luck, was his  batch mate as well.





Often bad things strike good people and so on this happy day, the bride's full ornament set, valued over a mere two lakhs just disappeared into thin air. Via Sanjit's own Pishemoshai's kurta pocket who had the same secure there.





Now - how come? Was there a hole in his pocket or a sole motive? Shall we get to the bottom?

'C'mon do not joke, out with it blokes' jovial appeals of Sanjit fell deaf ears. That confirmed, he lost the gold for his bride - for sure!  





He had no mother to find solace, so his father promised another ditto...



Moment please, why this pang in me? Strange indeed, through and through it was in the groom's Pishi's safe custody.





This Pishi my SIL was very shrill as to the choice of venue, a place so dull in North Cal, by the girl's side. She said, it could only attract thieves to flee, pocket full!





Ah! Can see your eyes widen, taken by surprise at the episode so unpleasant...





The detective in me failed to trail, all clue submerged in Wedding spell. In trance could smell, nothing at all.





To top the issue, 'what an embarrassment made rounds' which forced a hush down. The tone by none other than the very Pishi who barred people from trying to trace the valuable, under excuse - to save disgrace ...  'Hum!'



Next morning as I'm about for a shower, my SIL pretty disheveled with end to end darting pupil, calls me to tell she was about to go to London.



As I looked at her quizzical, like Vabomb Napit she swelled, "But Baudi, it will be I and he, going for a visit with our own money, not only London but come to you as well in Dashpushland, and don't you tell Borodada"



Well for the readers to understand better, her Borodada is my spouse Rampal. Replying with an unmindful 'Ok' I step into the bath for my morning ritual, not wasting another thought on her ...





Suddenly the same evening, quite likely, after a conspiracies' sequel she and her husband, pounce on me as if I was one big criminal.



Thank goodness the bride and bridegroom was lodged into another sound proof room and they could not catch a glimpse of the proceedings of throat and fist power.



They hurled me their choicest (unable to write the vulgar words) abuse, I perplexed and confused, looked at my spouse, to find out the news of their misdemeanour.





Before he could open his mouth, my SIL quick to shout, yelled, 'Borodada, right now you get her out of the path, give her a divorce' - Could I believe my ears?





Excited to the brim, gasping for air, she twisted her lips in heaves and said, "Borodada you do not fear, in your old age I am there, shall look after you with all my love and care"





Gosh, what a mysterious affair was shaping in this place, I had no clue to the drama in progress.





Adding more muck to enhance nasty atmosphere, quickly rejecting her offer, my spouse in his clubbed voice, "I can look after myself, jolly well and I do not need anyone at all"





Then, turning on me unexpectedly, he demanded "Why cannot you be like my brother and brother- in-law?"





"Sorry, dear hubby, please do not mess with me. What the hell? I am a female, can't you see?"





"No, by no way I can be, or wish to be like those two men. 100% I disagree to your demand of changing my sex entity." I retorted successively, one after another.





If I did aggravate the pandemonium, it was surely not my fault but the situation was slipping into the manhole.





Not exactly out of his head, Rampal threw "Ok, then why can't you behave normal?"



Exasperated at this, I asked him to write and explain the criteria between normal and abnormal, that I may able my behaviour as per his dictation.



Instead he wrote:- "My wife Rumpa Guptoo is making my life difficult" which was grabbed by his brother, who appeared on the scene from nowhere, neatly folding the paper into his purse:-





Did I feel out of sorts? Yes, I did but I determined not to give melancholia a chance went for a walk to meet my cheerful friend my favourite SIL Shanti. On her enquiry, realised I had skipped my lunch.





She dragged me to a nearby place and we both had a hearty meal. That evening Shanti was smarter and reasoned their peculiar...  to dawn on me.



Yes, the whole rigmarole was a cover up for Kleptomaniac embroil that struck my hubby's sister like a secret disease.



Poor motherless Sanjit, and the new bride Juhi! As for me I just failed to understand the brother+sister absurdity!



Way to normal but the scar in my hurt had to heal.



A year by and preparation to visit Varshvarsh found Rampal battle with his bulging suitcase () to fit the complete list... sent by his sister, which he sought and bought with great care. In the midst of such an act the telephone shrilled.



It was Rampal's sister breaking the news that her husband was urgently admitted into the ITU with suspected cancer. Thunderbolt out of the blue, Rampal felt a chill in the spine, for he always knew a hail and hearty man as his sister's husband who never ever visited or needed a doctor...



The same afternoon the doctor had operated on him and confirmed the disease.



Reaching Galghat in time after a long long flight, hurriedly my hubby and I  dumped our bags and headed straight for the Fearless Hospital.



Though this was the person in connivance - who had hurled nasty... and this was the woman who wanted that her brother divorce me, did I feel some sympathy?



Yes, maybe and the husband of my SIL was genuinely relieved to see me ... From my presence he knew, I spelt pardon. Next morning we did not require to go and see him but take his body as he was no more.



Any moral in this weird episode? Wishing Evil for others are wrong mathematical calculations. Before Kleptomania, is full blown, it is better to seek medical assistance!



'O' God let not even my enemy ever go through this' - I whispered a prayer!



Honestly, do pardon me if you have reached to the end - for making you dear reader go through this ordeal ...



Story by Rumpa Guptoo