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Sorry
A double life I lead
One I know, one you see
Sadness envelopes me
but I learn to hide my diesease
The bottle my only friend
pills or drinks, a hand to lend
Why is there no joy where there once was
Instead I will settle for a quick buzz
God and me are on the outs
not sure what our bouts about
I have so much to smile for
but instead I'll pop a pill, a drink I'll pour
Why can't I learn to smile again
or be the person I once had been
When God was by my side, with life in my eyes
Instead I live a life of lies
Cause you don't know the pain I feel
An echoed prayer, I pray to heal
But God ain't listening I fear
Because my cries fall on deaf ears
So, I guess I'll wear a mask for you
And one day you'll say, "I never knew"
I'll be gone and you'll wonder why...
But I knew I couldn't continue the lie.
The worst part about
The worst part about addiction is when they do not even have awareness of where their pain is coming from...there is no beginning to start to heal, and no end in sight. They are lost in a masked depressive state that not only controls them, but is denied by them, and fears and stigmas that shroud the intent of those few, rare ethical and professional people who work in the mental illness profession, become as useless moneymakers for big Pharma and the the fear, greed, and arrogance of the 'self-righteous' who have control over those 'could be' assets to help a world gone mad. There are people who made it through and thrive today through using the teachings of years bygone about love, integrity, hope, faith and kindness, and there are those who lost out on those pearls of wisdom for whatever the reason--usually not their fault.
~peace~and I wish you health and wellness~
.................
...and he asked her, "do you write poetry? Because I feel as if I am the ink that flows from your quill."
"No", she replied, "but I have experienced it. "