Alone, but together, naked in bed
He finishes, rolls over and lays down his head
His lips whispered sweet nothings in my ears
He didn't even notice my pillow dampened with tears
He is a stranger whose smell I don't know
A one night relationship where nothing can grow
My name wasn't necessary, it never is
I wish mine mattered, because I'd like to know his
But my skin told him all he wanted to hear
Anymore would have fallen on his deaf ears
My thighs became my only history
My ass my only past he wanted to see
He listened to what my tits had to say
But cared less about what made me this way
The only question, "Does that feel good and turn you on?"
But I wasn't listening, I was already gone
Because i know too well how this story ends
He might say thanks, or let's just be friends
Fuck You! is what I want to yell
But I smile and nod and bid him farewell
My name wasn't necessary and neither am I
And everytime a little part of me dies
So I wash myself and begin again
And remove the scent of them on my skin
Why can't they want more? Why can't they stay?
But I don't love myself, so how could they?
Maybe in time they will want to know more
And maybe I won't always feel like a whore
But first I need to write my own love story
Where I learn to let go, where I forgive me
Then maybe there will come a time
When happily ever after isn't just a nursery rhyme
But for now I guess it will remain the same
Until I finally learn to ask my own name
Descriptive
I felt like a fly on the wall, but with the mind and intellect to stick around and share in your "feels" afterwards.
depressing
"
The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it's not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person--without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.
" - osho