Always the Same

Alone, but together, naked in bed

He finishes, rolls over and lays down his head

 

His lips whispered sweet nothings in my ears

He didn't even notice my pillow dampened with tears 

 

He is a stranger whose smell I don't know

A one night relationship where nothing can grow

 

My name wasn't necessary, it never is

I wish mine mattered, because I'd like to know his

 

But my skin told him all he wanted to hear

Anymore would have fallen on his deaf ears

 

My thighs became my only history

My ass my only past he wanted to see

 

He listened to what my tits had to say

But cared less about what made me this way

 

The only question, "Does that feel good and turn you on?"

But I wasn't listening, I was already gone

 

Because i know too well how this story ends

He might say thanks, or let's just be friends


Fuck You! is what I want to yell

But I smile and nod and bid him farewell 


My name wasn't necessary and neither am I 

And everytime a little part of me dies

 

So I wash myself and begin again

And remove the scent of them on my skin

 

Why can't they want more? Why can't they stay?

But I don't love myself, so how could they?

 

Maybe in time they will want to know more

And maybe I won't always feel like a whore

 

But first I need to write my own love story

Where I learn to let go, where I forgive me

 

Then maybe there will come a time

When happily ever after isn't just a nursery rhyme

 

But for now I guess it will remain the same

Until I finally learn to ask my own name

 

 

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DaddyO's picture

Descriptive

I felt like a fly on the wall, but with the mind and intellect to stick around and share in your "feels" afterwards.  

lizardking's picture

depressing

"

The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you, but it's not. It is an existential truth: only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person--without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other. They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.

" - osho