(For Candace Abbitt)
You told me as a girl
and as a best friend
"Don't try to hard
if you want this pain to end."
You're the only one who understood
and you're the only one who cared.
You're the only one who helped me
and the only one my problems were shared
You knew that when I liked a girl
I'd persue with all my heart
And you knew that in the end
I'd only be torn apart
You said, "Don't chase love,
let love chase you."
I've been really trying to follow those words,
but it's so hard to do.
Every time I meet a girl I like
your words suddenly appear,
but as I spend time with her,
your words gradually dissapear
I don't have to say a word to you
because you already know
that I got seriously hurt each time
and refused to let my pain show
And you already know
how I choose to hide
You know that I put on a smile
and bury my hurt deep inside
You've always been there to help
because you knew the real me
You know the hidden Jerry
that I refuse to let people see
but I'm getting better at this
though your words are hard to obey
and I'm writing you this poem
as a grateful friend to say
Thanks for being such a good friend
and helping me from the start
and thanks for the advice
that I cherish deep in my heart
- November 5 / 2001
You're still having a hard time following her advice. And I really wish you would. I hate to see you hurt, although you usually take it very well.