When you look into my smile,
do you honestly think it's real?
Or do you see it as a mask,
hiding scars that will never heal?
When you look at my shadow,
do you see a reflection of me,
Or do you see what I see?
The infinite imperfections of me?
When you look into my face,
can you honestly tell
if I'm and angel of Heaven
or a demon form Hell?
When you look into my face
and look into my eyes,
do you see a happy little boy
or a happy little disguise?
When you look into my smile
what do you see?
Do you see the pretend,
or perhaps the real me?
When you look at me,
do you see the lamb or lion?
Do you see me laughing,
or truthfully crying?
Have you ever seen a tear on my face?
Have you ever wondered why?
Is it because I'm always happy?
Or is it becuase I smile when I want to cry?
When you're hanging out with me
am I crazier than the rest?
Or do I really show you
that I'm hopelessly depressed?
When you're around me
do you think I'm honest and true?
Or do you see I'm acting
just to please you?
Admit what you really think
Say what you're afraid to say
You don't care how or what it takes
You wan to see me happy and no other way.
- February 23/ 2001
I almost want to say that people don't see it because you don't let them. But I know better. If I look hard enough, it's there. It's in your words, whether in a poem or a conversation. And, being the person that I am, I hurt when you hurt.