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I lay in my bed alone

crying because I'm depressed

Why couldn't I be like everyone else?

Why couldn't I be blessed?

Everyone has somebody

Someone to look out for them

I have lived my entire life

and I have yet to find him

Where's my gaurdian angel?

Where could he be?

Should he be here

watching over me?

I call fo him every night,

but I guess he can't hear

I want him with me

I want him close and near

I want him now

I want him tonight

I want him to tell me

everything that is right

I want to hear him

I want to hear his voice

I want him to tell me

which is the right choice

I lay awake and I wonder

All my life, where has he been

Why wasn't he here

protecting me from sin?

Do I have a gaurdian angel?

This I must know

I wonder if I die

then will he show?

So, I pick up a knife

and prepare for my test

I grip the blade

and bury it in my chest

I could feel the knife

as it sliced through my veins

and my body grew numb

because of the pain

I could feel the tip of the blade

resting upon my spine

and the pain begins to course

throughout this body of mine

For a moment everything was clear

and to my surprise

my angel was there

so I finally realized

I couldn't believe it

For all my life, I was wrong

my gaurdian was there

and had be there all along

I tried to withdraw the knife

unfortunately, it was too late

because I didn't believe in my angel

I chose a different fate.



            - February 3/ 2001