Drowning

Folder: 
2007-2009 Poems

Long have I breathed for you.
Long have I held on.
Long have I tried as far as I can,
For as long as I can.

 

I never sleep, I never rest.
I stopped knowing myself
I stopped to feel, to exist for myself
Because you are the only thing that matters.

 

For as long as I tried.
As long as I breathed for you and I,
You were there for me.
But you never asked how I am…

 

The more I try, the more you cling to me.
The harder I try, the more you give up.
You think I am a superhero, or a fool perhaps
Because you know I can’t say “no”…

 

And yet I took and wore the dirty cape
Swim in the abyss when I was born to fly.
And still you do not know,
I’m doing this for you and I.

 

To the world, I am Ms. Invisible.
I am here, but to the world I am not.
I am needed, but not loved.
And it doesn’t matter to me-

 

Cause all I ever wanted is for you to try.
Not for me- but for yourself.
That is how much you mean to me.
But you didn’t…and I am getting weak.

 

I don’t know for how long I can hang on.
Still I try and I try and I try,
If I die in trying to save both you and I,
If I drown, will you blame me?

 

Or will you save me?
Will you finally feel my existence?
Breathe for us?
Live for us?

 

I’m drowning and still trying.
Inhale…I breathe for you and I.
Exhale…I live for you and I.
Tears are falling like rain.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

I just stayed all day in my room today. I did absolutely nothing but I feel tired and sick on the 'inside' which is harder to cure because the inside of me is wanting to scream. It feels like it is only my skin that keeps me from exploding. I wrote this instead...~jerlin 09Aug08

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9inety's picture

drowning in your own tears is death of the heart
don't lose heart
keep true unto your own truth
keep trying
keep hoping
keep writing

peace

Dylan


"One of the best results of life, is the torment of love"

Dylan Eliot