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The time of final decisions,

Quietly approaches with warning.

Situations and feelings seen and unseen,

As I wonder what will ultimately be.



I don't even desire a final answer,

Knowing that pain surely will follow.

How far away is my final destination,

Or is it closer that I want to think.



No one speaks a word of it,

As it taps me on the shoulder every morning.

For love ultimately will never be mine,

Or maybe its true colors are not really desirable.



To a person like me it's not so simple,

For life had never been so plain.

I have witnesses much more pain,

Not knowing if I have caused it.



As I wait not so patiently,

For a longing for end to all eternity.

Loving is far too hard for me,

In all forms it only taunts thee.



Give me the warnings I will see,

Or explain it to me as I desire.

Make some noise and interrupt,

The many thoughts that consume every minute.



My life has never had a simple moment,

Where even a minute of peace ever could be.

To blame anyone is unfair,

For maybe I just don't want to see.



Quietly approaching not fast enough,

That moment of finality comes this way soon,



October 3, 2004