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Nocturnes: Sunt Lacrimae Rerum, 2
4
Tonight, I heard the scratches once again---
insistent now, no more so tentative;
and then violent assaults upon the door.
In utter terror, I crept from my bed
and hid inside my closet, just in time,
too, as the door came crashing down. And then,
I saw the bold intruder as it was---
a huge (I mean, enormous) spider, with
the standard eight legs, prominent red eyes,
and bristling hairs all over it. I screamed,
but fortunately, all spiders are deaf---
why should this one be an exception? Then
I laughed at my own gross stupidity---
this spider was exceptional in each
aspect of its existence. But it did
not seem to hear me. I began to shake
all over and this motion---which I could
not help (the closet door, also not shut
completely so that I could see my bed,
on which the spider stood possessively---
attracted its attention and it turned
to face me. At once, I could see its fangs
dripping fresh venom on my new, clean sheets:
venom that it intended to pump through
my flesh. I did not know whether to run---
if ever I could possibly get by
that damned thing---or, with something I could swing,
clublike, deal it a crippling injury
if not a fatal blow. Quite leisurely,
it left my bed and moved across the floor,
its eye aglow like burning coals in hell.
Its wheezing was disgusting and, as its
eight legs moved forward, became more pronounced,
panting, perhaps, in the excitement and
antitipcation of another kill.
5
And then I woke to the sound of my own
shrieks. I was drenched in sweat, and saw
with adult shame that I had wet the bed.
No large arachnid adversary stood
nearby to threaten me. And, thus relieved,
I started to giggle, and then to laugh.
The rising sun's bright rays encouraged me
to laugh loudly, to slap my knee in mirth.
Waves of relief or even victory
swept over me. I felt that, if I stepped
outside, I would not find the two small graves.
And if I took a walk, later, and went about
three blocks out of my way, I should be met---
panhandled---by our live, neighborly drunk.
The world made sense again---but what a dream!
6
Then, after dressing, I hurried downstairs,
still feeling the pure joy of my relief,
and anxious to begin my busy day:
and found, to my utter shock and dismay,
a covering of silk draped over each
piece of my furniture, and strung across
the mantle and between my several lamps.
And from the kitchen, which I could not see
into from where I stood, I heard the sound
of those insistent scratches made, I thought,
by eight impatient legs ready to pounce . . . .
Starward
