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Fairy Lights
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Writer's Choice Soft as the wind
As cool as the sea
Your voice so pure
It enlightens me
I feel your warmth
Your smile and touch
I feel your embrace
But it isn't enough
I need you near
I want you here
This moon, this sky
While days fly by...
Please grant my wish,
oh fairy lights...
Dance in the breeze
Shine your light on me
Dazzle and shimmer
Shed your magic glitter
Fly about
Oh mystical light
Be by my side
On this silent stary night
Your hair that flows like the stream
Your eyes that twinkle as the light beams
Your smile that melts me
And drags me deeper...
Light-hearted emotions...
Swimming in my head
Fascinated by your brilliance
By your grace and radiance
Drifting slowly...
You take me wholly
My body...
My soul...
Hypnotized by your presence
Amazed by your senses
Passion combining...
Turning to one...
Oh fairy lights
Oh fairy lights
Dazzle about
Shine and shout
Your soft tender touch wrapping around me
Your glowing light that glitters about me
Captivated... entirely captivated
Fairy lights... fairy lights...
i love this poem
Jackie, Mr. Gui here. Just a few quick comments:
* I love the title; I've always been fascinated by mythical and legendary topics; however, I did not feel that the theme in your poem justifies the title--I wanted to hear more about the fairy lights and what they could do for you, what you wanted them to do for you, what were they, did they have a form?
* I don't get a strong image of the person / thing that you want to be with..... use concrete images, metaphors, similes, personification, and such to bring this individual to life
* "You're" should be spelled "Your"--it's an abbreviation, not a posessive
* Try writing the poem without rhyming.. you may find more of your feelings flowing through when you do it that way
* Beautiful start to the poem!! Kepp working on it!