Grievance

Since that day the vampire has died

I knew that things

Would just never

Be the same.



He was not human

But nonetheless

He was the only being

Who understood who I was.



He was nowhere near perfect

And innocent sunlight

Can turn him into dust

Instantly.



But still he was there

He was someone

Who knew how to listen

And how to respond.



He was there for me

I built my trust in him

And I grew in love

And hoped to spend eternity with him.



But that day when the vampire died

Despite the warmth of the sunshine

Gently tickling my skin,

I knew that I was lost forever.



My already damp solitude

Had grown colder

Darker

More unwelcomming, even to me.



I had to start over

And then there was

The desire to just

Give up the pains of living.



But those tainted

With immortal blood

Cannot die even if

They no longer wish to exist.



It is a gift

And a curse

To have such power,

To have immortality.



So I decided to simply

Escape

And avoid everything

That was living.



Then I even went on

To ignore

Inanimate objects

And lived a distracted life.



Neglecting

Everything I ever knew

Everyone who needed me

Those who I loved and loved me back.



I have become

Numb of every pain

Every agony

Every sorrow and complaint.



I have grown to

Live a blank life

Expressionless

To all the world.



And I still

Do not wish to go back

To when i was

Passionate about life.



I have always

Put others first

And disregarded

Myself.



So it is time

To be selfish

And to not think

But to only continue living.



As that is what is

Left of me anyways

To live

Because I cannot die.



So to cover the horror

And the fact

That the vampire

Is dead,



I will create

My own world

Wherein I am

Never sad.



No one

Can understand me

Nor penetrate

My stubbornness.



Because

I do not wish

For them

To interfere.



Because

I do not want

For them

To know anything is wrong.



Because

This is my grievance

And I will grieve

Until I feel it is time.



Time is when

It will feel

That I can finally

Rest in eternal slumber.



That all

That I do

Will count

And matter.



That everything

I say

Will mean

Something.



That all

That happens

Will actually

Stay that way.



That the

Person I'm with

Will actually

Continue living.



That is time

When I know

That it is

Final.



When I know

That it is all

Set up

For me.



When I know

That it is

Finally

What it has to be.



Grievance

Is when

The vampire

Was taken from me.

Author's Notes/Comments: 

...and thus I continue to live in search of a motivation to want to live the life I live...

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Kelly Klaes's picture

Wow. Dude, that is so....awsome....its like...i cant describe it. One thing, are you actually talkign about a vampire or is it a figure of speech? Either way its awsome. I like poems about vampires of mythology, it keeps those who do not no our real way guessing.