Dreams and lies intertwine
Love is never blissful
And always blind
Smile with a broken heart
So shattered that it's missing parts
Tape and glue and hopes and dreams
Spilling from the very seems
Thread and needle
Love and hate
Likeness is a resented trait
Yearn only to be commended
To be told so's to be offended
A fray will leave the heart more mangled
Strings of lies can't be untangled
Key and lock she'll leave it under
Trusting is a foolish plunder
Young and tired
Words transpired
Acheing to be freed of this disease
Vowing never again to love virtuously
There was no way to start anew
Burning rage and grudges grew
She fed the flames that were once blue
Forgot the things she thought she knew
Had she lead all her life in this guise?
Weary thoughts and blood shot eyes
To end with a sweet sunrise
To shun the world of all it's callous
Beg forgiveness for all her malice
It was impossible to answer all questions of life in a note
She wrote
What is life?
And fed the flames.
She wrote
Who am I?
And fed the flames.
She wrote
When will it end?
And fed the flames.
She wrote
What was it that lead me astray?
She had not the strength
To keep these feelings at bay
She wrote 'til she had nothing to say
And poetry she burned away
I liked it up until close to
I liked it up until close to the end. Don't know what it is specifically. I've read it a few times. I feel like I want a few more lines before the burning rage and after the sunrise. Not sure why... I dunno. Don't listen to me. I really don't know what I'm talking about.
p.s. I only say it cuz you asked. Keep writing...
Copyright © JessterStarshine
I'm gonna play with this one,
I'm gonna play with this one, and I think you're right. My ending isn't really clear.
I think you know what you're talking about, you shouldn't belittle your own opinion, because you have some really great points and you are a great writer!
Thanks!
Let your teeth show
Thanks! I'm just a bit off
Thanks! I'm just a bit off kilter today. Not trusting my own assessments on anything. I look forward to seeing what you do with this one. :)
Copyright © JessterStarshine
What am I doing?
I altered it some more. Am I over thinking it?
Let your teeth show
Well, I don't know if you're
Well, I don't know if you're overthinking it. Read it to yourself aloud. And see what you think. ;)
Copyright © JessterStarshine